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:iconmu-cheer-girl: More from MU-Cheer-Girl


Submitted on
November 2, 2009
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11 (who?)
Brother vs. Brother

On a planet with mountains erupting,
fire and sulfur, scenery so disrupting;
Two friends engage in a fight,
with awesome strength and intense might.

A pupil, thinking he was doing right,
in fear and pride, fell from the light,
to desperately try to save the life
of his one and only beloved wife.

And at that moment, the mentor appears
just as his pupil's chokehold on his own beloved disappears.
The mentor poses a challenge, a fiery duel,
but the pupil is empowered by an evil fuel.

Now, over flaming fiery fire,
it makes you want to inquire:
"How could a mentor and his pupil duel on another?"
Teacher against student, brother against brother.

Sailing on rivers of orange, yellow, and red,
an angry exchange of words between the two is said.
The mentor speaks of the nature of the light side,
while his pupil speaks of evil, jealousy, and pride.

Nearing the end of their contest, the mentor leaps,
and here's the moment where everyone weeps:
In arrogance and vanity, the pupil was mutilated,
and now laying on the ground, in blazing heat immolated.

Poem (c) JustSoWall-eCrazy
This a poem I wrote a few years ago for a school assignment. It is supposed to be based on the Duel on Mustafar, from "Revenge of the Sith", one of my favorite movies.

Poem (c) JustSoWall-eCrazy

Star Wars (c) of Lucasfilm LTD.
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GreenDayGirl18 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I remembered this poem...I had to fave this! So epic!
MU-Cheer-Girl Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011  Student Digital Artist
It's great that you remember it. It began as an assignment for my homeschool English course. It took me a whole day to come up with the words and rhymes, but it the end I pulled it off.

Yeah, my very first poem...:roll:
GreenDayGirl18 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
And a very deep one too. I still have it written in my sketchbook the day you wrote in it. the thing I like about poetry is that it gives me a deep feeling.
Skywalker0007 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009
This is fine poetry! Creative rhymes and diction effectively are evocative!
MU-Cheer-Girl Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Student Digital Artist
Thank you very much! I certainly put a lot of effort into writing this. Next to WALL•E, Revenge of the Sith is the bomb!

And thank you for faving it. =D It makes me feel special when people favorite my work.
Mitch-el Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2009
Not bad! I believe that some sections of the poem could be shortened so as to make it easier to read, but, other than that, you did a nice job. Good effort! :aww:

-- Mitch
MU-Cheer-Girl Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2009  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the critique. I'm glad you got to read it.
Mitch-el Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2009
No problem. :)

-- Mitch
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